


Saving It All

by faegal04, reigningqueenofwords



Series: Don't Touch Her [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 06:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21231188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faegal04/pseuds/faegal04, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords





	Saving It All

The one thing you didn’t exactly tell people when you met was that you were a virgin. When people found out, they looked at you differently, judged you. So, you kept it to yourself. No one made you feel the urge to tell them.

Until now.

You were sitting on your bed in the bunker with Dean. His lips moved perfectly with yours. His hand moved into your hair, holding the back of your head. The two of you moved until he was half laying over you. His thigh was between yours, and you rolled your hips against him.

Feeling his hand move down to your hip, his thumb brushing under your shirt, you gripped his wrist. He pulled back, his jewel-like green eyes looking into yours, an unspoken question. Licking your lips, you took a deep breath. It wouldn’t be fair to not tell him. “Dean, I need to tell you something.” You said quietly. “I-I’m a virgin.” You were shaking slightly. “_Dean_?” You breathed, hoping that he would say something.

His jaw clenched and he moved off of you. You moved to rest on your elbows and watched him walk out the door, slamming it behind him. Falling back, you covered your face with your hands. Your body shook with silent sobs. Of all the reactions he could have had, that wasn’t the one you expected.

Sam was in the kitchen when Dean came in, grabbing a beer. “I thought you were going to talk to her?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at his older brother.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He ground out, popping the tab on his beer. The last thing he wanted was being that memory. That was a special gift that should be given to someone worthy. Not someone broken, someone who destroyed everything he touched. He couldn’t do that to you, you deserved the sun, the moon, everything. And now, he probably cost them their friendship.

* * *

You stayed in your room until that evening, when you hoped that Dean would be in his room. However, you had a gut feeling that he was out drinking, and on the lookout for someone who wasn’t you. Wasn’t a virgin. You felt your chest clench painfully at the thought and held back more tears. It was obvious that any feelings he told you that he had didn’t mean anything. The second you told him that you had no sexual experience, he didn’t want you.

Walking in the kitchen, you went to the fridge to get an apple, not hungry for much more. You were sitting at the table, taking ages to eat it when Dean walked in. Your eyes stayed on the table for a moment, and out of the corner or your eye you could tell he was dressed to go out. Getting up, you left your barely eaten apple on the table, rushing out of the room.

* * *

He watched you go, his heart breaking. But, this was for the best. You would get over him, and you would move on. You’d find a nice guy, someone worthy of you. Sighing, he grabbed a glass of water, downing it quickly, before grabbing his keys and walking out.

* * *

Sam didn’t see you and Dean in the same area for more than a couple minutes. If Dean was eating breakfast in the kitchen, either you didn’t eat at all, or you would take it back to your room. If Dean was hanging out in the library, you grabbed a book and walked back out.

A week after Dean was supposed to talk to you, Sam found himself in a very awkward tension in the car on the way to a hunt. You had tried to stay behind, but Sam insisted. Reluctantly, you agreed. On the condition that either you bunked alone, or with Sam. Which was a huge red flag for Sam. You’d never objected to either sharing a bed with Dean, or bunking with him. It worried him, and he hoped that this passed quickly. Whatever ‘this’ was.

As soon as the car was in the parking lot, you were out of the car. He’d barely had it in park when you were almost to the motel office, renting yourself a room. You’d been put in a room 6 doors down from Baby. You were in your room, taking deep breaths when the boys got their room- 5 doors from Baby.

Sam watched Dean’s face as you took off to your own room. He noticed the gritted teeth, saw the anger and longing in his brother’s eyes.

It was too late to get anything really accomplished, so the boys went out to the bar down the street. Neither invited you, figuring that you wanted to be alone. Sam felt guilty, but he’d been the one to push you to join them in the first place.

* * *

You were sitting in bed reading when there was a knock at your door. “It’s me.” Sam’s muffled voice came through. Putting your book to the side, you furrowed your brow. Why would Sam be knocking at this time of night? You opened the door and looked at him, confused. “I know, I’m sorry.” He groaned. “Can I bunk with you tonight? Dea-”

You held up your hand, cutting him off. “I figured that out the moment you said you were sorry.” Stepping to the side, you let him in. “I was just reading, but if you’re tired, I can go to sleep so we can shut the light off.”

He pulled his jacket off, putting it over the back of the chair. As he sat on the side of the bed that was untouched, he glanced at you. “What’s going on with you and my brother?” He asked gently.

“I don’t want to talk about it. It doesn’t matter.” You shook your head.

Sam pulled off his boots before standing up and pulling off his jeans, leaving him in his boxer briefs and t-shirt. “Come here.” He motioned as he got into bed. “I can tell something’s bothering you. You don’t have to tell me, but shut the light off, and I’ll try to comfort you the best I can. Okay?”

You gave him a small smile and nodded, climbing into bed and shutting the light off.

* * *

You were asleep on Sam’s chest when you were woken up by the sounds coming from the room next to yours. Dean’s room. You tried to ignore them, tears silently running down your face. Hating the drunken giggles and then when the moans started you got up quietly so you didn’t wake Sam, grabbing the extra blanket you went into the bathroom closing the door. You climbed into the tub and cried yourself to sleep.

Dean was trying his damnedest to focus on the blonde currently squirming underneath him, but the only images he was seeing were of your face. You moaning and squirming under him. He kissed her roughly, trying to keep it going. This is what he did! He hunted, he drank, and he fucked. That was how things went.

* * *

Sam woke up to you not in bed, and the bathroom door closed. He didn’t hear the water running, so he slipped out of bed and rapped his knuckles on the bathroom door. “Y/N? I’m gonna go back to our room to get changed.” He had thought maybe you were just changing. “Y/N?” He asked, slightly worried that you didn’t answer.

Finally, he tried the door handle, and found it unlocked. When he walked in, he furrowed his brows. Crouching next to the tub, he brushed a strand of hair from your face and sighed. He picked you up gently, and moved you to the bed. You shifted like you were going to wake up, but just stretched out.

He grabbed his things and went next door. Opening the motel door, he dropped his boots loudly on the floor next to the bed that Dean was passed out on. Dean jerked awake. “What?” He grumbled.

“What the _hell _is going on? I just found Y/N sleeping in the damn tub.”

“Did she go out, too?” He couldn’t remember seeing you there.

Sam shook his head. “No. I showed up at her door, and she fell asleep on my chest. I wake up to her gone. That’s when I found her.” He told him.

Dean sat up and yawned. “Why would she be sleeping in the tub?”

“How the hell should I know? I tried to get her to talk to me about whatever the hell is going on between you two, but she told me the same thing that you did. ‘I don’t wanna talk about it’.”

“Good. Then drop it. We’ve got a case to work. Get dressed and go see if she’s ready.” He grumbled, getting out of bed.

“No. I put her in bed, and I’m not waking her up. That tub could _not _have been comfortable.”

Dean groaned. Now not only was he beating himself up, Sam was clearly mad at him.

“Seriously, Dean whatever you did to her-you need to fix it!” Sam spat.

“Why is it my fa-” Dean tried to say.

“Spare me! Stop being a douchebag, grow up and fix this now before we-you lose her for **_good_**!” Sam grabbed his clothes, headed for the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

Waking up, you found yourself in your bed. Confused, you tried to remember what happened, but the last thing that you recalled was crawling into the tub.

It was close to 11 when you realized that you hadn’t heard from Sam. You had been dressed and waiting, so you opened the door to see what was going on. The Impala was gone. You’d been forced to come, you had to listen to Dean bang some random chick, now this.

Back in you room, you called Sam. “Sam? What the hell? I wake up, and I get ready…”

You heard him with. “Yeah, I found you in the tub and moved you. I thought you needed some decent rest.”

“What about the hunt?!”

“Actually… There is none. Turned out to be some locals.”

Sighing, you kicked off your heels. “So, I take it you’re on your way back?”

“Soon. Grabbing lunch right now.” Sam explained. “You want anything?”

“No. I’ll just change and go for a walk.” You told him, hanging up. You knew that Sam meant well, and part of you was thankful that you had less time with Dean, but another part of you was hurt.

As soon as you were changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, you slipped on your sneakers and walked out of the door. You couldn’t avoid Dean forever, you lived with him, and hunted with him. Sighing, you walked in silence, deciding to just get it over with. If the man you loved didn’t want you because of you being a virgin, what was the chances anyone else would? You had thought that Dean would have been accepting, not completely go against the words he had just told you.

On your way back, your plan was in place. You would do your best to deal with Dean. No more running from him. You’d simply be polite. The next hunt, you’d go to the bar, and you’d see how that went.

* * *

Sam was surprised. “She hung up on me…” He explained, putting his phone in his pocket.

The two of them ate in silence for the most part. Sam shooting glares at Dean now and then, knowing this had something to do with him. Dean stared at his food, a pit in his stomach.

* * *

When they pulled into the motel, you were sitting outside your motel door. Standing up, you grabbed your bag. You gave Sam a smile. “Hi, Sammy.” Turning to Dean you gave him a nod. “Dean.” It was the first time you’d spoken to him since he stormed out of your room, and it killed him.

Dean closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to remind himself that this was for your own good. Even if in the process of doing what he believed was the ‘right’ thing caused his own heart to shatter at each cold, distant look from you. He would keep his distance. He got into the car and headed back home, his heart aching with every giggle that you shared with Sam. The miles seemed to drag on until finally he was pulling into the garage of the bunker.

Before the car was even at a complete stop, you grabbed your bag and were out the door headed for your room. Dean flinched at the echo of doors slamming throughout the bunker. He put his head down on the steering wheel to stop the burning feel of tears. “Just don’t, Sam. I _really _can’t right now.” He turned his head to see the glare coming from his brother. “Give me some time and, uh, I’ll fix this.”

* * *

Later that evening for dinner, the three of you were sitting around the table. You had made pasta, garlic bread, and homemade sauce. Normally, when you made dinner, you made a pie for dessert. Dean decided to take the chance that you had. He licked his lips clean of sauce before looking at you, hopeful. “So, what flavor do we have tonight?” He smiled.

You shook your head and took a sip of your water. “None. I’m going out with friends.” You told him. “We have ice cream, though.”

“No, it’s okay. Thanks.” He told you, a sad look crossing his face as you simply went back to eating.

* * *

After dinner, Dean went straight to his room. He could hear the music coming from yours, and assumed it was you getting ready. In reality, it was to cover up the sounds of you crying. Just because he saw you looking okay, didn’t mean you were.

Finally, you washed your face, and forced yourself to get ready to go out. You picked a flattering pair of jeans, a cute tank top, and sneakers. You’d work your way up to a cute and flirty dress. Checking your hair, you smiled softly to yourself. It didn’t quite reach your eyes, but it would do for now. For your make up, you kept it fun and light. Just enough to really bring out your favorite features. Grabbing your purse, you left your room, looking forward to getting the green-eyed man off your mind. Even if it was just for a little bit.

You were looking down, making sure you had everything when you ran into Sam. “Oh, sorry!” You chuckled. “Hi, Sammy.”

“Y/N, you look great! Got a hot date?” he said wiggling his eyebrows. You giggled and it made Sam happy. At least you were finally going to get out for a bit and he could see that even if the smile didn’t reach your eyes, you weren’t going to wallow in whatever sad mess that Dean had started. “Look, if you need a ride later, just text me, ok? No matter what time it is, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks, Sammy, I know I can count on you,” you smiled gratefully at him, standing on your tiptoes you kissed his cheek gently.

“Oh, and if you meet some lucky guy and decide to go home with him, text me,” he said sternly wagging his finger at you.

You chuckled. “Yes, _sir_!” You teased. “Night, Sammy.”

* * *

Dean had heard everything. His jaw clenched. Not only were you ‘going out’, but Sam was basically encouraging you to do some random guy. At least, that’s how he saw things. He clenched his fists and forced himself not to follow you, or track your damn phone.

* * *

Around two in the morning, he jerked awake when he heard you giggling, and then a ‘thud’. Pushing the blankets back, he moved to the door, opening it and looking out.

Sam sighed and tried to help you up just for you to wave your hand at him. “I’m _fiiiiiine_, Sammy!” You laughed. Hearing Dean’s door open, you looked up at him and your laughter stopped.

Taking your distraction as an opportunity, Sam picked you up off the ground. “Okay. Let’s go. You’re drunk.” He chuckled at you.

As they walked past Dean, you put your head on his shoulder. “Can I have more?”

“More what?” He asked, confused.

“More _drinks_!”

Sam shook his head. “No. No more drinks for you. You’re going to hate life in the morning.”

“I already doooo.” You sighed, closing your eyes. “Already do, Sammy.” You yawned, drifting off.

He put you in your bed, pulled off your shoes, and made sure you had water and aspirin on your nightstand before quietly shutting the door. His jaw clenched as he went over to Dean. “_Now _do you wanna talk?”

Dean just opened his door wider for Sam. Once inside, Sam sat down and waited for Dean to quit fidgeting. “I’ve already figured out that this-whatever this is between the two of you is personal. You’re miserable, she’s miserable so let’s cut the bullshit.”

Nodding his head, Dean tried to figure out where to start, but Sam wasn’t done yet, not by a long shot he realized. “So, I’m willing to bet that you sweet talked her into bed with you, got what you wanted and then maybe she got too emotional. Hence the bar skank on the last hunt.” He ran a hand through his hair, “Jesus, Dean, why do you feel the need to fuck your way out of something that could be the best thing to ever happen to you? I don’t get, explain it to me.”

“What the hell?!” Dean shot back. “No!” He shook his head. “We had a talk. I told her how I feel about her and everything. Her face fucking lit up. I told her I love her, and all I want is her happy, and safe. Next thing I know… We were making out, enjoying it.” Not like this was too much information for Sam. “I got her laying down, put my hand on her hip, and she stopped me.” Getting up, he started pacing. “I was confused, because she seemed into it.” Sam nodded, letting him know that he was following along. “I was not expecting what came out of her mouth next.”

“What?” Sam asked, confused. Dean was acting like it was this huge deal breaker or something.

“She’s…she’s a _virgin_, Sammy.”

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise, he opened and shut his mouth a couple times as he tried to figure out the best way to handle this. He took a deep breath, “Okay, so she’s a virgin. What’s the problem? She was obviously happy when you told her how you feel, _right_?” He looked up at Dean and saw him nod. “Sooo, if you love her and she feels the same, her being a virgin shouldn’t be an issue.” Sam stopped for a minute closing his eyes he tried to see this from Dean’s perspective. “Are you afraid of the physical aspect of hurting her?” he looked embarrassed while waiting for some acknowledgment from Dean.

Dean looked at him like he was crazy. “_No_! She’s not the first virgin I’ve been with. She’s-”

“It means more because you love her, I get that, but I don’t get why it is such a big issue for you. Explain it to me,” Sam said gently.

He flopped back on his bed with a groan. “Th-that’s not something that I should have. Not from her.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You lost me.”

“The guy she loses her virginity to should be someone special, not me. I’m a screw up, Sammy. She deserves so much better than me. So much better than I could ever give her.”

“So…let me get this straight.” Sam started. “You won’t be with the woman who loves YOU, despite you being a major dick sometimes. The woman YOU love, even though she’s way too good for you. You’d rather her go find some random fuck at a bar?” That was basically what he heard from Dean. “You know that’s what’s going to happen, don’t you? She’s going to take this as she’s not good enough. Wait…what did you say to her anyway?”

Dean looked contrite as he ran a hand through his short hair. “Um, I didn’t actually say anything. She, uh, she told me and I froze, I just froze like some sissy and then I got pissed and walked out,” he finished eyes cast down at the floor the last word almost a whisper.

“**_WHAT_**! You didn’t say anything to her, are you that stupid! Do you know what that probably did to her? She tells you something very personal, hoping that the man she loves would be there for her and you walk out! You’re such a dick! A spineless dick at that!” Sam spat.


End file.
